Wingmen - A Valentine's Story
by harrypanther
Summary: Modern Valentine's Day AU. Roped in to help her friend juggle three simultaneous dates on Valentine's Day, Astrid Hofferson finds herself opposite the cute guy from downstairs trying to have a civilised meal while chaos breaks out. Hiccstrid.
1. The Guy Downstairs

**WINGMEN-A VALENTINE'S STORY**

 **Modern Valentine's Day AU. Roped in to help her friend juggle three simultaneous dates on Valentine's Day, Astrid Hofferson finds herself opposite the cute guy from downstairs trying to have a civilised meal while chaos breaks out. Hiccstrid.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own How to train Your Dragon. Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.**

 **A/N: Valentine's Day-not my favourite holiday-and I suddenly had a vision of chaos. With Thorstons, 'ex's and two-timing all around…so enjoy.**

 **oOo**

 **The Guy Downstairs.**

"Hello, Mulch's Pet Depot-how can I help you?"

Astrid Hofferson leaned her elbow on her desk and suppressed a sigh as old Mrs Bergstrom began a long rambling story about her Pekingese, Cecil, and his 'problem'. Idly, the blonde girl began to doodle on her pad, knowing exactly what would happen. The old lady would tell some long convoluted story about Cecil (who was actually female and amazingly horny and incontinent) and then order one medium bag of 'Bucket's Patented Complete Nutrition for Dogs-small breeds under 10kg' as she did every time.

"…so Cecil started peeing all over Mrs Forfang's leg and she was on her way to tea with the Mayor…not that Mayor Stoick would ever comment about it…he's such a nice man…"

"That sounds terrible," Astrid said brightly, her blue eyes sweeping over the clock. Another three hours and then she could go home, eat her ready meal and stare at the TV all evening. Hardly the life she had planned when she left High School two years earlier as the Homecoming Queen, Captain of the Track Team and girlfriend of the Football Captain. But the slime had dumped her when he got famous on the College Football Team and girls had been flinging themselves at him. Once he had dumped her, she had left her course because she had only taken it to be with him and quite frankly, she had hated it and she had returned home to find some mindless job while she was planning her next move. And here she still was, facing her second Valentine's Day with no boyfriend, almost no money and no prospects.

"He was very nice about it…" the old lady droned on and Astrid rolled her eyes, her beautiful face exasperated.

"Mrs Bergstrom, I'm afraid the switchboard is jammed today so Cecil's antics will have to wait for another day," she said professionally, cutting the old woman off. "You can tell me what she gets up to next time. Shall I put you down for a medium bag of 'Bucket's Special' again?"

The old woman's voice was disappointed but she was polite enough to acknowledge that her ten minute ramble was probably a little excessive for the purchase of a simple bag of dog food. "Of course, dear," she sighed. "You're always so patient with me."

"I'll drop it in myself on the way home," Astrid offered, feeling guilty and the old woman gave a grateful thanks before hanging up, allowing the blonde to pull off her headphones and stretch, her neck cracking at the motion. There was a thud as her co-worker slammed her head on the desk.

"You know you'll never get a guy like that," Raquel 'Ruffnut' Thorston groaned, her long face planted firmly on the desk. Her long hair was done in three fat braids, her grey eyes closed in disgust at Astrid's boyfriendlessness. Ruff was one half of the Thorston twins-pranksters extraordinaire and inseparable as it was possible to be. She still lived with her twin brother Terence 'Tuffnut', though she also had three boyfriends on the go and was planning a very complex Valentine's Day split between the three. And she was banking on Astrid to act as wingman and ensure she got to have her three Valentines Meals.

"Well, it's lucky I'm not looking for one," Astrid shot back. "Mrs Bergstrom and Cecil…" Ruff sighed and grabbed her can of soda, slowly straightening up.

"You should," she advised her sagely. "I mean, I am showered with gifts and never have a boring Friday night…or Saturday night…or Sunday night…or basically any holiday…"

"And you're cheating on three guys all at once!" Astrid reminded her. "Have you ever considered what Fishlegs, Eret and Snotlout will do when they find out you're cheating on them?"

"Fall on their knees and be grateful for a third of me?" Ruff suggested with a wicked smile.

"That would depend on which third," Astrid commented, stealing a sip from her soda and pulling a revolted face. She urgently wiped her tongue on her sleeve.. "Ugh. Yaknog flavour! Why do you drink that stuff?" There was a smug laugh from Ruff.

"Sorry? You were the person who managed to melt three pans and a fridge while trying to make a sherry trifle in Home Ed!" she teased the blonde smugly. "And you were the person who created Yaknog! It's not my fault that Snotlout sent the idea into 'Viking Sodas' and they thought it was a great cultural flavour! Or that it's strangely addictive…"

"Probably all the sugar to prevent it dissolving the can," Astrid pointed out dryly. "Even I realised it was horrible…" Ruff swigged another huge gulp.

"Of course it's horrible-that's the point!" she told Astrid as if it was obvious. "Right, now I'm full of sugar and chemicals-let's boost our sales…" Astrid slumped back in her seat.

"Ruff-you can't phone Silent Sven again!" she protested. "The poor man is mute-he can't object! You phone him every week and sell him an enormous order of dog food, toys, accessories and birdseed. All we know is he's a sheep farmer! I mean…why the birdseed?"

"Mulch over-ordered so we have a huge stockpile that we have to get rid of!" Ruff told her briskly, pulling on her headset and dialling the familiar number. After three rings, the phone was picked up. "Good afternoon, Mr Mulch-it's Raquel Thorston from Mulch's Pet Depot here with another fantastic offer that I'm certain you can't possibly afford to turn down…"

"Ah-Astrid…thank Thor you're free!" Mulch said, coming into the back and smiling at her. He was a short, round and exceptionally hairy man with an unfailing smile and kind eyes. "Could you hold the front desk? Bucket phoned me that he's getting a terrible headache and the weather says there's a storm heading our way so I need to go home and give him his medicine. Poor fellow…" Mulch's older brother Bucket was a veteran with a metal plate in his head and a kind but simple personality and Mulch was his main carer. "You know I hate leaving Tuffnut in charge because he'll sell half the stock off for a prank and…is she phoning Sven again?" Astrid nodded, rising to her feet.

"I'll keep an eye on the twins," she assured him. "You head home and don't worry about things, Mulch." He smiled.

"I knew I could count on you," Mulch said, heading out the back. "Could you lock up as well?" She nodded and smiled, heading through to the main part of the shop and finding Ruffnut's twin, Tuffnut lying on the counter with a chicken sitting on his head. Tuff was very similar to his sister-tall, lanky and blond-though his hair was in long dreadlocks and his eyes a pale brown rather than grey but in terms of craziness they were an exact match. Planting her fists on her hips, Astrid glared at him.

"What are you doing on the counter?" she demanded as Tuff inclined his head slightly to inspect her.

"The chicken wanted to check the view,' he told her as if it was obvious. "And she's pretty picky…" Shaking her head, she lifted the chicken off his head-then shoved him off the counter. He hit the floor with a thud and a loud 'OW!' There was a pause and he appeared, rubbing his back. "And the chicken is NOT amused," he told her in a dignified voice.

"The chicken should be in the coop," Astrid told him sternly. "Put her back-I don't want to find chicken poop in the rest room…" Tuff's eyes widened and he grabbed the chicken.

"Too late!" he said and sped off. Glaring after him, Astrid wiped down the counter and looked up-to meet the greenest pair of eyes she had ever seen. The owner of the eyes-a skinny tall young man with casually messy auburn hair that framed his sharp jawed and cute face- backed up a step at her intense glare and then swallowed nervously.

"Is this a bad time? Should I come back?" he asked, his light, slightly nasal voice wary but she shook her head, forcing herself to smile. She had seen him before, not just because he was a regular, purchasing medium price range but good quality cat food and occasional catnip impregnated mice for his pet, but also because he had moved into her apartment block in the summer. She hadn't realised exactly how cute he was-and then she mentally kicked herself. _Damn Ruff and her incessant testing about not having a boyfriend! She had been wound up to the point that she would jump anything…not that this young man wasn't cute enough to earn being jumped in his own right._

"Not at all," she told him briskly, eyes sliding over his pale skin, occasionally marked by fading freckles and darkened by a little scruffy stubble at the jaw. To her eyes, he looked a little sad. "Henry, is it?"

"Hiccup," he corrected her. "Um…my Mom chose Henry after her Grandfather but my father instantly labelled me a 'Hiccup' and well…it kind of stuck." She smiled.

"Ah…yeah…sorry…so…Hiccup…" she gabbled and mentally cringed. _Oh Thor! Astrid Hofferson was never speechless in the presence of a boy!_ "I'm Astrid!" He managed a slightly melancholy smile.

"It says that on your badge," he pointed out gently. "And your mail…" She blushed and sighed.

"Sorry-you're in One and I'm in 11 so they keep mixing us up," she apologised. "Um…you usually come in for cat products, right…?" His face fell and she suddenly felt the bottom drop out of her stomach.

"Not any more," he sighed. "Sharpshot my Cat got out yesterday and was run down." She almost opened her mouth but the tone of voice told her that he would no longer be buying cat toys. Instantly guilt assailed her as she recalled leaving in a hurry and late the previous morning, juggling coffee, toast and keys and not pulling the front door of the apartment block closed as she usually did…

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she said genuinely and saw his shoulders slump a little.

"Well, I suppose we all have to go some time," he murmured despondently. "I mean, he was seventeen and I'd had him since I was three but he was doing fine and suddenly…bang. Gone!" He looked so down she took his hand without thinking and gave a friendly squeeze.

"That must be really hard for you," she admitted.

"I mean, I've always had him as long as I could remember and it's going to be weird without him," he admitted softly, his hand squeezing back. "I buried him this afternoon in Dad's garden and then I just couldn't face coming back to my empty apartment so I came here…" Her eyes widened.

"Here? I mean, don't your family…?" she mumbled and he sighed.

"Well, Mom died a few years back and Dad has other things in his life and frankly, my girlfriend bailed when I came home because Dad isn't in great health and transferred my degree to Berk U," he said quickly, his voice embarrassed. "So…not really…"

"Thor, you sounds as if you really need a new cat," she told him and he flinched.

"Wow," he managed with mild sarcasm. "I haven't even washed the soil off my boots from burying Sharpshot and you're already saying I need a fresh cat. Not even slightly insensitive…much." She felt a small flare of irritation at the reply and took a deep breath.

"Well-you're missing your cat and you clearly have no one so a new cat would fill the gap…" she pointed out. He sighed and nodded.

"I guess," he admitted. "I mean, it could be worse. At least a cat's a proper pet. Not like a hamster or a bird or…"

"A Macaw," Astrid finished shortly. "Like the one I've had for ten years. What have you got against birds?"

"Hardly cuddly," he shot back as she scowled at him. "Unlike Sharpshot…"

"I cuddle Stormfly," she retorted defensively. He shook his head.

"Look, you're right," he conceded. "I probably will get another cat…so if someone leaves an advertisement, would you give me a call please?"

"Sure you don't want a bird?" she teased him and he shook his head, grabbing a scrap of paper off the counter and scrawling his cell number left-handed.

"I'll always answer," he said and turned away. "Thanks…I think. And I'll see you around…maybe…"

As she watched him walk away, she felt another curl of shame as she walked his tall shape vanish through the door. The poor guy had lost his pet, opened up to her and she had just been insensitive because she was direct and could see what he needed…and all because her mind was scrambled by the fact he was also hot…and didn't seem to know it.

"You'll never get a boyfriend like that," Ruff commented, appearing from the back office. "I mean he is extra cute…about 14 out of ten. I wonder if he fancies talking to me…" She snatched at the scrap of paper but Astrid was faster, closing her fists around it and holding it to her chest.

"No. MINE!" she growled, holding the paper to her chest. "You already have three boyfriends and you're not snapping this guy up as well…" Ruff suddenly looked upset and made a pouty face.

"Aww…." she whined. "Come on. He is so cute…"

"Who's cute, babe?" a familiar voice asked and Ruff started as a stocky shape slightly shorter than Astrid arrived at the counter. He had rugged, regular features on his broad face, styled black hair and piercing blue eyes. Ruff gave a start and fashioned a broad smile.

"You, Snotlout baby," she purred and leaned over the counter towards him. Snotlout pecked a kiss on her cheek and then looked over to the glowering other girl.

"Hi, Astrid-looking good," he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Can't say the same for you, Snot," she growled. "Are you going to buy something?" He grinned cheerily.

"Anything my Princess wants," he leered as Ruff gave a smile.

"Can you go get some Yaknog Sodas please?" she asked. "Ooh-and a quadruple Yak Burger. And fries. And a strawberry-mango-cloudberry sundae for Tuff?" Snotlout's eyes widened in shock as he calculated the cost of the order…and then he forced himself to nod.

"On my way, babe," he said in a shaky voice and faked a grin, then left. Tuff poked his head over the edge of the top shelf in the 'Dogs and Puppies' section.

"Wow-you really stung him, sis," he noted and she grinned.

"He likes to tell me how much he wants to show me a good time so it would be rude to deny him the chance," she grinned. "We're booked into the Great Hall tomorrow night…and so are Eret and Fishlegs, but he's brought a wingman so I need my sister-in-arms and wing woman at my side…" Astrid's eyes widened.

"Oh no-you are not getting me involved in your thee-timing underhand deceptive lying scheme…" she growled, folding her arms as her friend grabbed her arm and pouted again.

"Awwwwww…Astrid…I stood by you when wotsisname dumped you…"

"No you didn't-you tried to call him and then you laughed at me for three months," Astrid pointed out, her foot tapping in annoyance.

"But you love me anyway…and we've been best friends for ever!" Ruff whined. "Pleeeeease…"

"No," Astrid replied.

"I'll pay for your meal," Ruff promised desperately.

"No you won't. You'll get Fishlegs to foot the bill," Astrid pointed out.

"Wow-she's got you taped!" Tuff commented from the shelf, idly toying with a squeaky bone.

"Shut up, muttonhead," Ruff growled. "You're coming to keep an eye on Snotface!" Tuff chuckled.

"Oh yes-everyone is roped into the Lokifest you call your love life," he commented. "And we'll be there to watch when it all implodes…" Astrid shook her head as she watched the twins bicker. She knew she would be roped in, no matter how much she protested, because watching Ruff dating held a weird fascination. She was loud, inappropriate, leered unsettlingly and invaded your personal space far too much yet for some reason, three very eligible guys were competing over her-and being Ruffnut, she had decided not to choose but go out with all of them. So far, she had managed to balance the three with surprising deftness but the looming Valentine's Day celebration, when all three had booked to go out with their girlfriend, was going to tax her skills. Her only option was to go out with all of them…with staggered starts.

Astrid shook herself. No-her only _real_ option was to tell the truth and break up with two of them…but Ruff wasn't going to do that…meaning her brother and best friend were going to be accomplices in probably the most catastrophic dates in the history of Berk.

And Astrid really had nothing to wear.

oOo

But when she got home that evening-after a three mile diversion to deliver Mrs Bergstrom's medium bag of dog food-she paused after entering the wood-panelled lobby with the old-fashioned quarry tiles on the floor and started at the door to the right with the polished brass '1' screwed into the green painted wood. She paused, unwinding her scarf and pulling off her mittens and then she sighed and walked to the door, knocking on it before her common sense metaphorically grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and hauled her away. There was a pause and Hiccup opened the door, his emerald eyes widening before his expression fell.

"Um…yes?" he asked warily and she smiled.

"I came to apologise," she said with a sigh. "Look-I was insensitive. I knew you were sad and I-I thought I was helping but I was just being…"

"Insensitive," he conceded. "And I'm sorry. A pet is a pet, no matter what it is. If you love it, it's a pet…"

"But you're a cat man…" she teased him gently and he managed a small smile.

"My secret's out," he admitted. "I'm Junior Year Engineering at Berk U and I have long hours so a cat can cope…they're more independent than a dog but they are still great companions. And now I'm sounding like a weird sad cat guy with no family or girlfriend or…" She shook her head.

"No sadder than I am," she interrupted. "My parents moved away to Florida the moment I left home for College and when my asshole boyfriend dumped me, I found the crappy course I had taken just to be with him wasn't worth it. So I quit and came home…to work a minimum wage job with no prospects and no boyfriend and a tiny apartment…and no family either…"

"Wow-we're both doing well for Valentine's Day," he commented with mild sarcasm. "Be sure to lock away all sharp objects!" He paused and stared at the floor. "Look-would you like to come round for the evening tomorrow? I can't promise gourmet but I can work the phone to order pizza and we can watch some suicide how-to video on Youtube…or possibly a film if we can emerge from the overwhelming misery…" The dryness of his tone had her smiling and then she groaned.

"I would love to…but can I rain check?" she asked. "I…I have to be wingman for my friend tomorrow and I really shouldn't let her down…" She hoped it wasn't the light just making his eyes look disappointed but he gave a sigh.

"No-I'm supposed to be accompanying a friend on his date-probably to distract her awful wingman-so I guess I should go…but I was willing to give it all up to eat pizza with you," he conceded and she kicked herself mentally. "Still…rain check?" There was such a note of hope in his gentle voice and in his stunning eyes that she immediately nodded.

"Day after Valentines?" she suggested and he treated her to a genuine, lopsided smile.

"It's a date," he said and took her hand, gently kissing the back of her knuckles. "Milady." And then he smiled and closed the door. She stared at the green glossed wood and lifted her hand to her mouth.

"Oh my Thor…" she murmured. "Ruff-you had better be grateful I'm still going out with you…because I will kill you if you manage to screw this up…"

oOo

February 14th dawned very cold and snowy with temperatures below freezing and the prospect of more blizzards on the way…in other words, a normal brisk Berk day. Astrid attempted to avoid Ruff all day because her desk was covered with large plush toys, extremely mawkish cards and huge boxes of candy while her own desk was devoid of anything but her phone, pad and pen. Idly, Ruff opened a box and delicately chose a sweet, then chewed it really obviously.

"You see? There are so many advantages to having three boyfriends!" she said smugly as Astrid's fists tightened.

"Yeah-lying, cheating, stress, roping your friends in to help you deceive three guys who probably don't deserve it…" she grumbled and sat down heavily, sipping her strong black coffee and staring at the phone. It remained stubbornly silent.

"Er-hello? Snotlout?" Ruff reminded her and she huffed.

"Fine-two guys who probably don't deserve and one who might," she conceded.

"One who definitely does-he was flirting with you yesterday!" Ruff corrected her, taking another chocolate. Astrid shuddered.

"Bleurgh. I'd forgotten that," she said gruffly.

"Yeah-because you were still drooling over Mr extra-cute Green Eyes," Ruff teased her as a shout from the desk called her through to receive a huge bouquet of red roses. Astrid sighed and turned back to her work. Ruff was glorying in her multiple competing boyfriends while Astrid was just trying to think what to wear. She didn't have much money and steadfastly refused to lay out money for a dress for a double date with whatever geek Fishlegs could round up. She had only been half-listening when Ruff had gone on about her opposite number-all she recalled that he was a friend who had moved away but had come back to Berk a few months earlier.

She was still musing as she went home, racing up to her apartment for a quick shower and then grabbing her old Prom dress from Senior Year. She hadn't put on a pound and the elegant knee length fitted dress with the thin shoulder straps was a deep aquamarine colour that made her eyes pop and flattered her colours. Smoothing the silk down with trembling fingers, she stared at her reflection in the mirror and looked back at a young woman with long golden hair, flawless pale skin, bright blue eyes and a terribly unconfident look. _When did I lose who I was?_ she asked silently. _When did I allow him to undermine who I am?_ And she ran her fingers through her long hair, teasing a few strands free and then braiding it before coiling it expertly on top of her head. A fine silver chain her Mom had given her, the faintest hint of powder and eyeliner and a cream cashmere shawl completed the outfit. Her tights were skin tone and she wore the silver scrappy heels that she could dance in all night. Swiftly, she wrapped herself in the shawl, called the cab and grabbed her purse and coat before speeding down the stairs.

For a long moment, she stared at the door with the neat brass '1' on the green-painted wood and deeply regretted turning Hiccup down. She really wasn't looking forward to the evening and the chance to have pizza with the auburn-haired man had been amazingly appealing…even if he seemed to have a bit of a sarcastic streak. But his smile had been genuine and it would be nice to go out with someone other than Ruff…

The cab pulled up and she reluctantly pulled away, walking out to clamber in and sit quietly in the back as they woke their way to the centre of Berk, pulling up in front of the magnificent stone building that was for tonight the largest and most treasured restaurant in Berk. And waiting anxiously at the door was Ruff, looking weird in an extremely short strapless sage green dress, her unfeasibly high heels causing her to totter and her dragon-tooth necklace to sway as she staggered towards the cab. Astrid had barely paid and gotten out when the other girl grabbed her arm, her three long braids swaying slightly in the frigid wind.

"I thought you'd stood me up, wingman!" she said urgently. "Fishlegs is already here-and his wingman. How do I look?" Astrid forced a smile on her face.

"You look lovely," she assured her friend, wondering if the fake chrysanthemum stuck behind her ear wasn't a wee bit over the top… "Just lovely." Ruff hooked her arm through Astrid's.

"Then let's go through a see my boyfriend!" she smirked. Astrid rolled her eyes.

"One of them," she muttered under her breath.


	2. 3 dates, 3 wingmen and one Ruffnut

**A/N: There will be three parts-here's part 2**

 **...**

 **Three Dates, Three Wingmen and one Ruffnut**

Henry 'Hiccup' Haddock was astonished at how nervous his friend was. And how nervous he was as well. He had spent the day working on the assignment for his course at home, trying to ignore the empty cat bed, empty litter tray, empty bowls…and huge hole in his heart. He had neatly gathered up all Sharpshot's toys and boxed them but the little place felt empty without the lively ginger tom.

Felix 'Fishlegs' Ingerman had been his friend from Kindergarten and the shy, undergrown Hiccup had stuck to his friend all through junior school even though he had been ignored by the popular kids and bullied by some of the larger boys. He wasn't surprised that Astrid hadn't recalled him-when he left Berk High at twelve for Berk Academy, he had been a runt with limp light auburn hair, a mass of freckles and sarcasm that could melt steel-now he was definitely taller, more confident and his growth spurt had thickened and darkened his hair, sharpened his jaw and made him look very different to the boy he had been. Berk Academy had been his parents' idea and he had just about managed to maintain his friendship with Fishlegs, aided by Skype and their shared geekiness, though he hadn't exactly been fighting new friends off. His full scholarship to Archipelago University to study Aeronautical and Space Engineering had taken him away from Berk and he had finally found a girlfriend…but when his father started having chest pains, he had transferred back without hesitating.

Of course, Camilla hadn't wanted to leave the excitements of the main campus or the main island and so she had calmly and dispassionately ended it when he broke the news to her, any hopes she would transfer with him or at least want to remain with him brutally dashed. His father had been keen not to interfere with his duties or tip the press off regarding his illness so Hiccup hadn't moved home, though he had looked after his father through and after his angioplasty and stenting for what was blandly termed 'quadruple vessel coronary artery disease'. Mayor Stoick had no intention of taking things easy until his son had explained exactly what could have happened-and only then had he had agreed to take two weeks off and allow his best friend 'Gobber' Belcher to deputise for him. Even now, he was moderating his diary and taking more care of himself than he had for years…but his son refused to move home. Though bereft of cat and girlfriend, he was wondering if he was just being stubborn…until he recalled that Astrid Hofferson lived in his apartment block.

He honestly couldn't believe he had mustered up the nerve to ask out a girl he had harboured a crush for since he was about eight…and was even more astonished when she hadn't turned him down. And he would gladly have stood up Fishlegs if it meant he could spend he evening with her…but they had both honoured previous engagements so he would be spending the evening as Fishlegs's wingman, watching his friend drool over Ruffnut Thorston, who he was almost certain was two-timing his friend…and then he sighed. Maybe he could observe her and see if he could catch her out and protect his friend.

He checked his reflection: his tall, lean shape was flattered by the black tuxedo and pants, the polished patent black shoes, white dress shirt and emerald bow tie compelling the ensemble. He started as he heard Astrid arrive and race up the stairs and then he finished his preparations, brushed his wild hair into some semblance of neatness and went out when his cab arrived.

Fishlegs was waiting at the Great Hall and almost bouncing with anxiety. Tall, very heavyset with short legs, short blond hair and round greenish eyes on his pleasant, chubby face, he was a gentle soul and was genuinely delighted that Ruffnut was going out with him. He was clutching a large bunch of roses that probably cost three times what they would tomorrow morning and grabbed Hiccup's arm.

"Oh, thank Thor!" he whimpered. "The table's ready…" Forcing himself to smile, Hiccup led him in.

"Then let's get settled," he reminded his friend, eyes scanning the large space. very high and cathedral like, the Great Hall wasn't an easy place to make intimate, but they had used plants, balloons and the abundant columns to partition off the tables so each was almost completely intimate. There were candles on each table, crisp white tablecloths strewn with tiny red foil hearts and special Valentines' menus and the waiter led them to a four seater set up for a double date. Hiccup sat easily as Fishlegs changed position three times before ending up where he had originally started and then ordered Champagne.

"Um…Fish..are you sure?" Hiccup prompted him, seeing the price.

"Only the best for my Ruffykins," his friend said firmly. "A Magnum of Louis Roederer Cristal Rose 2007…" Hiccup peered at the wine list.

"Fishlegs?" he asked carefully. "Do you really want to spend over $600 on a bottle of champagne?"

His friend choked and waved wildly at the sommelier. "Wait!" The man turned with a small smile.

"I'm sorry, sir-I thought you wanted the best for your lady," he said, oozing superiority.

"Not at the cost of not eating for the next month," Hiccup took over firmly. The waiter tried to ignore him but Fishlegs was still choking at the thought of the cost so reluctantly, the smooth man turned back to the frowning auburn-haired man.

"Well, the cheaper option is the Krug Rose NV…" the waiter tried.

"At $700," Hiccup read. "Wow-cheaper means something different here. Usually it means 'costs less' not more." There was a frosty silence.

"Well, I can always recommend a Magnum of the Dom Perignon 2009 for the more discerning…"

"Wallet," Hiccup cut in. "Only $500. You're getting the hang of this. Wanna try again? Maybe with just two figures?"

Hiccup could have sworn the waiter growled at him and he tried not to smile. "Well, for those of more parsimonious disposition, the Verve Cliquot NV Brut Magnum is…"

"Parsimonious?" Fishlegs squeaked. "You think I'm being mean?"

"About $130," Hiccup read. Fishlegs gulped.

"I've only got the for the whole meal!" he hissed.

"We'll start with a bottle of Moet rose, thanks…" The waiter gave an irritated sniff, snatched the wine lists and glided away. Fishlegs was already mopping his face with his napkin and almost fainting at the prices. Hiccup frowned.

"Why did you come here if you're tight on money?" he asked his friend and Fishlegs sighed.

"Ruff wanted it," he admitted. "And I am so lucky a girl like her is looking at a husky guy like me…I mean, she used to tease me that I was blocking out the sun sometimes-and now she's going out with me. I can't let her down…even if it means Ramen noodles for the next four weeks…" Hiccup eyed the menu and his eyes popped at the cost of oysters, steaks, raspberry champagne sundae to share and coffee

"Make that six weeks," he muttered.

The waiter returned, looked down his nose at the two men and poured four flutes of the pink fizz before stowing their bottle professionally in the wine bucket and walking away superiorly. Hiccup smiled as the sounds of steps pulled his attention back to the date. he sighed and automatically rose to his feet to greet their guests…

…and stared straight into Astrid's eyes…

oOo

Astrid froze as she stared into Hiccup's emerald gaze and she did a double take as she recognised the cute neighbour and cat-lover who was now definitely promoted to 'very hot'. Tall, lean, his silhouette flattered by the tuxedo, he was clearly as shocked as she was-and then he smiled, a genuine grin that made her heart flutter.

"I'm not sure they do pizza," he said gently. Fishlegs, who was fawning over Ruff, suddenly looked up.

"Oh, I'm sorry-I should introduce you, shouldn't I, snooky-poos?" he said eagerly, his big face lit with happiness. Ruff grinned.

"You got it, my big snuggly-wuggly," she teased him. Fishlegs squeaked in excitement and then looked at the others.

"Um…Astrid…this is Henry Haddock…" he began.

"Hiccup," Astrid interrupted and smiled at him.

"And this beautiful lady is Astrid Hofferson," Hiccup added, lifting her hand to his mouth and kissing it lightly. She blushed fiercely at the incredibly old-fashioned gesture. Ruff scowled…and then gave a gasp.

"The cute guy from the store!" she realised. "Hey Ast…" Blushing, Astrid grasped Hiccup's hand.

"Just right now, I wish we were doing pizza," she murmured and he nodded.

"Though currently, I'm more than happy here-since you are the most beautiful woman in the room," he told her sincerely, then quietly pulled out a white rose and handed it to her. "For you. I-I thought it was really presumptuous to give someone I've never met a red rose…so I thought maybe a white rose would be nice?" She carefully sniffed the rose and closed her eyes at the delicate scent: he had chosen a flower that was both beautiful and fragrant and she smiled, looking up into his hopeful emerald eyes.

"It's beautiful," she told him softly. "Thank you." He gave a smile that lit his face.

"Your smile is thanks enough," he said and then he groaned. "Thor, did I really say that?" She burst into giggles.

"Um…yeah…" she managed and he face-palmed.

"I'm sure they must pump some kind of hallucinogenic gas into the air," he suggested sarcastically. "To make sure everyone is acting completely crazy…"

"OOOH! Thanks so much! They're gorgeous, snooky-poos!" Ruff's voice was probably audible through half the hall as she flung herself against the husky young man extravagantly, though taking care not to crush the huge bouquet.

"I take your point," Astrid commented as they sat down, still smiling. They both sipped the champagne, savouring the dry flavour and studying the menu. She snorted. "Wow. Oysters-which are just ugly watery uncooked shellfish, which are supposed to be an aphrodisiac…then steak, presumably for strength…and then a fruit and alcohol pudding to share, all washed down with more alcohol…for how much?" Hiccup chuckled as Ruff and Fishlegs stared into each other's eyes.

"So basically, you are expected to leave here horny, drunk and poor," he translated and she giggled.

"Unless you're a wingman…" she reminded him. He inclined his head.

"I'm not sure you're not forbidden to have fun," he said thoughtfully. "As long as you do wingman duties…" Hiccup snatched a glance at Ruffnut and sighed. "You know-I have the right to ask you and I know you can't answer me but I have to check-because Fishlegs is my friend and he is a decent guy-is she cheating on him?" Astrid almost choked on her champagne and coughed a few more times before she looked up.

"What makes you think that?" she asked too quickly. His shoulders slumped slightly.

"Snotlout is my cousin and he's boasting about his new girlfriend…" he told her quietly. "Everything…including her name…" She stared into his face for a few moments…and then she nodded.

"I'm afraid so," she said softly. "In fact, it's worse than that because there's a third boyfriend in play and she's meeting all of them tonight in the Great Hall…"

"And trying to keep them all separate?" he guessed and she nodded. "And I guess you're here as a friend to help her…but I can tell you don't actually approve?" She nodded. "Fish is a nice guy," he told her. "And he's really happy she's going out with him. I don't want to ruin the first Valentine's Day he's ever had a girlfriend for! But I don't want him hurt long-term either…"

"Me neither," Astrid confessed. "So you're gonna tell him?" His warm hand found hers and his thumb absently stroked the back of her knuckles as his bows dipped slightly.

"Not this evening," he told her after a moment. "I don't want him humiliated and hurt. So I guess I'm gonna have to help you keep her dates apart from each other…" Her eyes snapped wide. "And you definitely owe me a pizza date as well."

"Oh, Mr Skinny-you are definitely getting a date out of this…if we all survive…"

"I asked for the best table in the house!"

They both stiffened as Snotlout's voice wafted above the sounds of a string quartet wafting through the room. Astrid started and Hiccup groaned, seeing Ruffnut suddenly shoot a pleading glance at Astrid. She snatched a look into Hiccup eyes.

"Showtime," she whispered.

"I'll take care of him," he promised as Ruff rose, mumbling that she needed to go to the bathroom, hauling Astrid along with her. They spun to lean against a pillar behind a large umbrella plant and peered through at the confident shape of Snotlout, dressed in a bright blue tuxedo with a bright yellow bow tie, sipping a beer with another bottle placed waiting in front of Ruffnut's place. The girl in question stared and then leaned close to Astrid.

"Distract Fish while I spend a few minutes with Snotty," she ordered. "I'm in the bathroom if he asks. Tuff has promised to distract Snot when Eret arrives…"

"But aren't you sure you don't just want to spend the evening with Fish?" Astrid asked desperately. Ruff leaned close, her eyes uncomprehending.

"Are you seriously suggesting that I stand up Snotlout in favour of Fishlegs?" she asked incredulously and Astrid nodded.

"Look-he'll treat you far better than any of the others," she argued but Ruff was adamant.

"I'm having my dates and you, missy, can go back to making puppy eyes at Hiccup and his dreamy eyes," she sneered. "Cover for me…" And then she lunged forward, grinning broadly as she slipped into the seat opposite Snotlout, clanked her beer against his and smiled graciously as he presented her a small bunch of red roses. Astrid turned away as she accepted the sloppy kiss he gave her and then she slid back into her place opposite Hiccup, seeing Fishlegs's eyes drift worriedly towards the restrooms.

"She's going to be a few minutes more," she said, hating herself for lying. "I think she may have a slightly upset tummy. It must be the excitement of the date-which she's been talking about all day." That much was true. "And she's very highly strung…" Shoulders slumping slightly, the husky guy sipped his champagne and nodded.

"As long as she hasn't run away and bailed on me, I can wait," he said and Astrid stared into Hiccup's equally uncomfortable eyes. They were both silently saying the same thing:

 _She doesn't deserve him._

A movement in the corner of her eye drew her attention to a tall, buff shape walking confidently to the table almost next to them-and she gasped as she saw Eret Eretson sit down in almost full view of Fishlegs.

 _Eret who was Ruffnut's third date._

Frantically, the blonde made surreptitious gestures to Hiccup, whose eyes widened in recognition and then understanding.

"Seriously?" he mouthed and she nodded. "Well, she _really_ doesn't have a type…except possibly 'male'…" he muttered. "Should I be worried?" Her eyes widened and she gave a small nod.

"Well, if you want to be, you can," she hissed. "But I'll protect you from the man-eating lunatic blonde…" He quirked his lopsided smile.

"And we're not talking about Tuff," he smirked then signalled a waiter, pulling the man close and whispering a few words in his ear. He handed over a fifty dollar bill and the waiter smoothly pocketed it, then walked professionally over to Eret.

"Excuse me, sir-I have been made aware that there is a particularly cold draught blowing over this table and I would like to offer you a superior alternative…" He gestured to the table just behind Hiccup, a large plant shielding Fishlegs-and Ruffnut, when she returned-from view. As expected, Eret rose and graciously accepted the 'superior alternative', sitting down and ordering a whiskey. Unthinkingly, Astrid's gaze slid over the man, his buff and tall shape flattered by the white tuxedo with a white dress shirt and black bow tie. His long raven hair was pulled off his face in a thick ponytail and his large chin was decorated with traditional Inuit tattoos as a nod to his heritage. His caramel eyes flicked up, noting her inspection and she lowered her eyes, blushing. Then, as she glanced up again, he gave a cheesy grin, tipped his glass to her and winked.

Her eyes widened and Hiccup noted, his brows dipping.

"Are you okay?" he whispered and she paused.

"Eret is winking at me," she said neutrally. He stiffened.

"Um…really?" he asked, a note of uncertainty entering his voice. Her eyes snapped back to his face and she grasped his hand. _As if she would trade a guy who winked at a woman clearly here with another man in favour of Hiccup! Hiccup who she already felt as if she had known forever…_

"You have nothing to worry about," she said intensely. "I was just shocked. I mean, he's here to meet with Ruff but he's just winked at me and then nodded and tapped his watch. He's asking me to meet up later. Ugh! The slime…" Hiccup pressed his lips together, momentarily looking annoyed and then his eyes crinkled in a smile.

"I think we can do something about that," he smiled and signalled the waiter again. "I have an idea…"

Suddenly Tuff-dressed as a waiter-appeared from behind a large rubber plant.

"Argh!" Hiccup gasped, pressing his hand against his heart in shock. The male twin grinned.

"Nothing to worry about, my man," he said cheerfully and then did a double take. "Hiccup?" The auburn-haired man frowned.

"Tuffnut Thorsten? Oh my Thor…what are you doing here?" he asked. Tuff grinned.

"Assistant wingman to my sister," he hissed, still lurking out of view of Fishlegs. "Of course, Astrid here is numero uno sidekick…" Astrid growled.

"I am not a sidekick," she snapped. "I'm actually enjoying my almost double-date…if your sister would reappear and none of the rest of your shenanigans were going to happen." Tuff burst out laughing.

"We're Thorstons!" he reminded her. "We worship Loki-so chaos and disaster follows in our wake!"

"Wait-you know Tuff?" Astrid asked, eyes widening. Offering a small smile, Hiccup gave a single nod.

"I know you all," he told her gently. "We used to go to school together. We even played together in preschool-but when we started Elementary School, you became friends with all the popular kids and I..." He paused and there was an uncomfortable silence. "Well, you and most of the other kids ignored me. I mean I was kind of small and skinny and frankly a mass of freckles so no one paid me much attention. I got sick a lot as well...and when Mom died at the start of Middle School, Dad moved me to Berk Academy..."

She blinked and even more guilt crashed over her. She had completely forgotten about Hiccup…but the handsome man with the stunning emerald eyes facing her was so different to the skinny kid he had been and she had just forgotten him, what with High School, college, relationship troubles…

Then his warm hand closed reassuringly on hers.

"But you were never mean to me, unlike some people-and we all make mistakes," he told her kindly. "Honestly, if we had been in High School together, would we be sitting here today? I'm a very different person today than I was back then and I'm sure you are too. So maybe we should just pretend we're just a boy and a girl, out on Valentine's Night and try to enjoy this date?" He smiled at her and her heart fluttered. "I believe everything happens for a reason, Astrid-so maybe we should see what happens…"

"You mean apart from helping your date's insane best friend try to go out with three guys simultaneously…" Astrid said and sipped her champagne. The waiter delivered shucked oysters with chilli, lemon and ginger and crisp white wine as Astrid stared at them dubiously. Hiccup snorted with laughter.

"You don't look convinced," he noted in amusement.

"They're raw!" she protested. "And they're slimy and bleurgh!" Meeting her disgusted blue eyes with a twinkle, he chuckled and ate the first one, swallowing quickly.

"They'e actually really fresh and tasty…but if you don't like the idea…" he murmured and winked to the hovering waiter, who swapped the oysters out for grilled Tiger prawns that he had ordered earlier. Her eyes widened and she gave a brilliant grin.

"Thank you!" she said happily. "How…?" He ate his second oyster.

"I guessed when we discussed the menu," he told her smugly. "I mean, oysters aren't to everyone's taste…and though the whole menu is supposed to be aphrodisiac, the fact that people go out and drink tons and expect romance is probably a better explanation why there is a spike in births in late October/early November…" She stared at him in shock.

"Are you serious?" she asked him, sucking the sauce off her fingers from her prawns. He nodded, eyes twinkling. "How did you know that?" He blushed.

"Um…it was a project I did at school," he admitted, suddenly self-conscious. "I was asked to relate the changing patterns of birth rates to calendar events and…" She smiled at his sudden discomposure.

"So you were basically having to work out why people suddenly had loads more unprotected sex?" she teased him and he suddenly went beet red. He nodded and she smiled at him, patting his hand. "Good work," she said more assuredly.

"Hey!" Tuff elbowed him and he sighed in relief. "Distract Fishman-I'll get sis for her appetiser…" The male twin vanished as Eret checked his watch and winked at Astrid again. Reading her face, Hiccup sighed, then leaned towards Fishlegs and murmured a few words to his friend. Hiccup was kind and made sure they talked, sharing geeky facts about extinct dragons, which they clearly both loved….

Peering through a gap in the plants, she could see Snotlout swigging his fourth beer with Ruff leaning across from him, almost finishing her third and necking her oysters at top speed. As if on cue, Tuff appeared, tapped her shoulder and whispered in her ear. Then she grinned.

"Sorry, babe," she said, pouting. "Tuff needs me for something. You have another beer and I'll be back soon…" She kissed his nose and he grinned cheesily.

"Hurry back, babe!" he said and snapped his fingers to get the waiter to bring him another beer. Tuff rolled his eyes as Ruff straightened up her dress, took a deep breath and swept back to sit by Fishlegs. She took his hand and smiled happily.

"Sorry, snuggly-wuggly," she said in an apologetic tone. "I was a little queasy and just needed a little fresh air to settle myself down and I'll soon be…oooh! Oysters!" And she launched in to start scarfing them down at a rapid pace. Eyes popping, Fishlegs smiled and joined her, chatting in a concerned voice that completely had Astrid feeling ashamed she was helping her friend in this deception as she and Hiccup watched.

"Is she really going to eat three whole meals?" he checked and she nodded seriously, finishing her last prawn.

"Of course she is," she told him. "It's free and there is nothing Ruff won't do for a free meal…"

"Even going out with three men all at once?" he checked.

"You're lucky," she reminded him. "If I hadn't spoken to you, she would have jumped you in the Pet Depot!"

"Oh, thank Thor _that_ didn't happen," he said in relief. "But is she really going on with this?" Astrid nodded as Ruff clutched her middle, kissed Fishlegs and staggered away…until she had rounded the plant and then straightened up, grinned broadly at Eret and slid into the chair opposite him.

"Hiya, handsome," she grinned and leaned over to kiss him. "Sorry-I was held up…" He grinned.

"I almost gave up," he said, his eyes wandering to inspect Astrid over Ruff's shoulder. "I got you a mead and sour-just how you like it…" She kissed him again and grabbed the drink, then sat and swigged the amber liquid before stared down at her third plate of oysters. She grinned and tucked in, laughing and joking with her date.

Fishlegs was getting more and more down and not even Hiccup could cheer him up.

"I thought this meal would be a chance to spend time with her," he said despondently. "I mean, she's incredibly fun and wild but I just wonder whether she is the one for me? Every time I try to get her to do something I really enjoy, she yells 'boring' and insists we go down the Tavern. Or if we go out, it always has to be something insane and dangerous." He stared at the table. "I mean, I like birdwatching…" Astrid sighed.

"Fish-you're a really nice guy and I know Ruff likes you," she began as she felt the weight of Hiccup's eyes on her, wondering if she would try to make excuses for her friend. She swallowed. "But you are so different to each other that I'm not sure if this is long term?" She toyed with her napkin. "I mean, being grateful someone is going out with you isn't the best basis for a relationship. There does need to be give and take. And you have to decide whether you are happy with her." He stared at her.

"You think I'm not happy?" he asked her in surprise. She nodded.

"I think you undervalue yourself and are willing to accept…less," she told him kindly. "And you should never accept less." Hiccup stared at her in shock and realised she was talking about herself as well. She smiled, her cheeks flushed as she felt his eyes on her. "And yes, I learned the hard way. So don't make my mistake, Fish-don't sacrifice what you want and your own happiness of someone else who may or may not be faithful…"

He stared at her in shock and drained his glass. And then he waved to the waiter.

"Bring me another bottle," he said.

A table over, Tuff was consoling a very drunken Snotlout, who was wondering if Ruff actually loved him. "I mean-aren't I a nice guy? Aren't I handsome enough?" Tuff sat opposite him and patted his arm helpfully.

"You're a great guy, one of my best friends and the best mate a Thorston could want," he assured his friend, leaning forward and idly finishing his twin's half-drunk drink. "And I know that Ruff loves spending time with you…"

"Then why isn't she here?" he asked, sniffing. "She said she was with you but you're here…"

"…and she's with Astrid," the male twin continued seamlessly. "Look-Ast is her best friend and she's boyfriendless and sad and sometimes, she has to be a friend as well as a girlfriend…you understand, right?" Snotlout sniffed, wiping his eye.

"I guess," he said, sitting back and swigging his beer. "I've always liked her…well since Astrid threatened to bury me alive if I didn't stop bothering her…and then when Ruff said she would come out with me, I knew finally things were going my way." He paused and stared at his beer. "I mean, I know I'm dumb…but I work hard at Dad's scrap business and I am trying to be more responsible…so why isn't she here?"

Tuff sagged.

"You got a Thorston right here," he reassured his friend. "And I'm with you, no matter what my insane sister does-you know that?" Snotlout sniffed and nodded.

"I know," he sighed. "Another beer?" Tuff sighed and nodded.

"I know I need one," he admitted.


	3. Romance Ragnarok

**Romance Ragnarok**

Somehow, Ruff managed to dodge from man to man, eating three steak entrees and swigging far more alcohol than any sane person would touch. She almost gave herself away by calling Snotlout 'Fish'…but claimed she said 'fresh!' instead. Though Astrid could see that the stocky man was so drunk he missed the slip anyway. But she watched her very drunk friend stagger from man to man and already knew it was only a matter of time before she gave herself away…while she and Hiccup spent the time cheering Fishlegs up and chatting as if they had been friends her whole life.

She sighed. Hiccup was kind, generous and listened to her moans, though he was willing to share his own disappointments when pressed. He had a very quick wit, a delightfully sarcastic sense of humour and an observant eye and she cursed her own stupidity in ignoring him at school. And she thanked Thor that she had been granted another chance to spend time with him because he was everything her ex was not and his presence menthe evening she had been dreading had turned into one of the best nights of her life. They were idly staring at their puddings and sharing them sundae idly when two of the serving staff sidled up and Hiccup's eyes widened and he lurched to his feet.

"Guys!" he greeted them joy lighting his face as a raven-haired young woman and a buff man with cropped carrot hair, three wide 'claw' tattoos over his left eyes and scars on his other cheek. Both were in the black uniform of servers which didn't deter the auburn-haired man from hugging them both strongly. The girl hugged him fiercely then back away-and her eyes fell on the blonde.

"Astrid!" she gasped and Astrid gaped.

"Heather?" she breathed and jumped up to hug her former friend. "Thor-I haven't seen you since you suddenly left the first week of Senior Year…"

"I'm so sorry," the raven-haired girl said, her green eyes filled with regret. "Our parents died and my brother needed me so I had to bail." She sighed. "I dropped out and then went back and did Senior Year the next year in BA, closer to home." Astrid hugged her back and then pulled back.

"I should have tried harder as well but you know…Theo and College and then…disaster…" she apologised. "Can we…maybe hang out…?" Heather smiled, her pretty face lit with pleasure.

"I'd love that," she admitted. "So what's been happening? You and Hiccup, eh?" Astrid blushed.

"Much longer story than we have time for now…" she began as a gentle voice interrupted.

"Heather?" The girl spun, her braid hitting her left cheek.

"Fishlegs?" she gasped. "I mean Felix…how have you been?" Fishlegs rose, smiling.

"I-I'm good…and you?" he managed and she smiled.

"Better for seeing you," she admitted. "Are you here with someone?" Fishlegs invited her to sit in the vacant chair opposite.

"Apparently not," he admitted. "So tell me where you've been and what's been happening…"

"Have you still got Meatlug, your British Bulldog?" Heather asked him eagerly. "She was such a sweetie…" Fishlegs's face lit up happily.

"Oh, she's still going strong!" he said eagerly. "Have you still got Windshear, your Wimeraner?" Heather nodded eagerly.

"She's had puppies recently," she said eagerly. "You've gotta come round and see them-they are _so_ cute! And Windshear will love to see her friend…" Astrid stared at her friend, shocked that Heather was back and Heather turned her welcoming green gaze on her friend. "And you need to come too. Bring Stormfly! I know she'll enjoy the company…"

"So are you back in Berk now?" Astrid checked. "Last I heard you'd headed over to Berserk…" Heather grinned.

"We came back three weeks ago-and I didn't know you were here," she admitted. "I stopped by your parents' house but there was clearly a new family living there and I didn't have any contact details…"

"Yeah…I lost my phone on Graduation when Tuffnut baked it in a Yak Wellington…" Astrid explained and Heather burst out laughing.

"I'm not even going to ask why," she giggled, her hand finding Astrid's. "Oh, I've missed you…" The blonde sighed.

"Me too…" she admitted.

Hiccup, meanwhile, was talking in a low voice to the other buff figure, who Astrid recognised as Heather's older brother, Dagur. Dagur had been wild when they were younger but he was just turning his life around when Heather had vanished from High School-presumably when their parents passed-and she wondered why he was here-and why he was talking so animatedly to Hiccup. So she strained her ears and listened harder.

"Are you sure, brother?" Dagur asked and Hiccup nodded.

"Eret has been making eyes at Astrid and I think it's disrespectful and downright creepy," he said. "He's also flirted with three female servers and slipped one his cell number! Especially since he's out with Astrid's friend Ruffnut…"

"Who also seems to be out with Fishlegs and Snothat?" Dagur frowned and Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"You noticed, huh?" he said self-consciously. "Look, I think Fish will be far better off with your sister and, if I read things correctly, I think Snotlout is of more interest to Tuff than Ruff." Dagur clapped him on the shoulder, almost knocking him sideways.

" _Really?_ You know, you can never tell," he chuckled, draping an arm around Hiccup's shoulders. "Okay…I can keep an eye on Eret and make sure he keeps his eyes front and centre…"

"E-squared! My old mate!"

Everyone looked up at the brash voice that sounded loudly as a buff, black-haired handsome shape sauntered up to Eret's table. Astrid froze and looked up as Snotlout's head popped up over his plant and Fishlegs turned round as well. Hiccup watched Astrid's face fold into a scowl and his own breath hitched as he saw the blonde shape sashaying along at the stranger's side. They stopped by the table where Ruffnut and Eret were leaning towards one another, sharing the romantic champagne and raspberry sundae dessert. Two pairs of eyes widened as Eret romantically spooned a raspberry into her mouth.

"RUFFNUT?" Fishlegs and Snotlout said together and then they shared a glance. "SHE'S OUT WITH YOU TOO?"

"Oops," Rufflut slurred.

"Baby-what are you doing with him?" Snotlout asked, his voice trembling. "I mean, when you have this perfect specimen, how could you…"

"You were seeing him and him as well as me?" Fishlegs asked in a hurt voice as Ruffnut stumbled to her feet, swaying slightly.

"Yeah…sorry…" she mumbled and drained her glass, then winked at Eret. "Howzabout it, lover-boy?" Eret stared at her-then shoved her back.

"You think I'd go out with a cheating tramp who's three-timing me while pretending to be so in love with me?" he sneered. She stumbled and collapsed into her chair, blinking.

"But…I really like you…" she said in a confused voice. "And okay, I like the others…just not as much as you…but I didn't want to turn anyone down…and…I _like_ you…"

"As if…" he sneered, his expression superior. "I mean, how desperate are you? I'm insulted you would even think that I…"

"You were making eyes at me, winking and inviting me to hook up later, you lying two-faced slime!" Astrid snarled, surging forward and shoving him back. "Yes, she was cheating on…well, _everyone_ …but so are you!"

"What's the matter, honey-not getting any?" Eret sneered.

"I doubt it," the newcomer said, his face superior. "Not since I dumped her…" Shaking with anger, Astrid glared at the shape of her former boyfriend, Theodore 'Thuggory' Carnaby and Eret's former team-mate on the Football team. She stared at him in a rage, then grabbed Hiccup, pulled him forward and kissed him hard. For a second, he almost forgot to breathe-and then his hand gently cupped her cheek and he kissed her back until they both broke apart, breathing hard. Defiantly, Astrid looked up at Thuggory.

"As you can see, I am perfectly well served in that department, thank you," she said smugly, seeing him scowl.

"HENRY! What on MIDGARD are you doing?" The blonde shape in the skintight gold satin dress at Thuggery's side was almost puce with rage, her fists balled as Hiccup lifted his green eyes and stared flatly into her blue gaze.

"Hi, Camilla," he said tonelessly. "Don't see what you have to complain about. You dumped me in the summer when I came home as Dad was ill. And not a word since. I mean, I know my email, my Instagram and my phone all work so it isn't that…and with you here with him, I can guess you forgot every promise you made about 'still being friends' and upgraded."

"But…" she protested, outraged at his very direct and accurate summation of her actions. He frowned.

"Sorry-am I supposed to be sitting at home, moping over you while you are out with your new boyfriend, having a romantic Valentine's Day?" he asked her sarcastically. "I am lucky to be here with an old friend and a friend I haven't seen for almost ten years. With an amazing, sexy, beautiful woman who has given me the best date I have ever had-and that includes _every_ single one with you!"

"Sorry-are you talking about Astrid?" Thuggory said in such a disparaging voice that Hiccup felt his temper rising. He was generally a very placid and decent guy but the way the man talked about Astrid-who had clearly been very much the innocent and wounded party in their break up-made him want to shove those sneering words down his throat. He took a deep breath.

"I'm hardly referring to Camilla-or Ruffnut," he said sarcastically. "Sorry, I must be using words which are too long for you…" Astrid stared at him, hearing the edge to his voice.

"You do know she was mine before I realised she wasn't worth it?" Thuggory taunted him. "I mean, she was a dumb blonde, Homecoming Queen yadda yadda and pathetically followed me to College. Helheim-she dropped out of her course when I told her that there were better options than some nobody from Berk…" Astrid stiffened and Ruff lurched to her feet. She grabbed the half-eaten pudding and threw it in his face.

"Your two-faced worm," she slurred. "You said Astrid was your heart and soulmate at Graduation…" Her legs collapsed and she slumped back into the chair again.

"And I realised my mistake," Thuggory smirked. "Big College Football star here! And she's nothing, just a small town wannabe…" Before he could even close his mouth, a fist crashed into his face, slamming him back into the table and flipping him backwards. Astrid stared, open-mouthed as Hiccup stood, his fist balled and glaring at the felled Football Star.

"You know, she is NOT nothing!" he snapped. "She's a generous, decent, clever, beautiful woman who is here to support her friend, even though she doesn't approve of what she is doing! And even then, she's being kind to a guy whose girl dumped him and another who's being two-timed! She's worth far more than you ever will be…not in transient and ephemeral fame but in things that actually matter!"

"Oooh! Hiccup likes the loser!" Camilla sneered, her pretty face twisted in a scornful expression. "I bet you like being back in backwater Berk rather than Dragon Island…"

"Hey!" Fishlegs said, advancing, as Eret shoved Hiccup back.

"You wanna make something of this, skinny?" he sneered. The auburn-haired man glared back.

"Well, you were flirting with Astrid-who's out with me- before Ruff arrived and even while she was sitting opposite you at the table!" Hiccup retorted.

"What?" Ruff whined. "Awww…and you were so cute…" She grabbed his drink and necked the lot. "And I wasted my pudding on-on him…when I could have thrown it at you…" Fishlegs twisted and then handed her his dish.

"Be my guest!" he invited her as she grinned and lobbed it straight into Eret's face. He swore.

"Hey-keep out of this, fatboy!" he sneered at Fishlegs. "I mean-how deluded are you? That Ruff would want some lard-bag like you when he could have this perfection…" Eyes widening in hurt, Fishlegs stared at him as a stocky shape came flying in and tackled Eret to the ground!

"Apart from the fact _I'm_ perfection," Snotlout growled, punching Eret, "Fish is my friend and he's sensitive about his weight and he's three times the person you are!"

"Literally," Camilla sneered as Heather came flying in and slapped her.

"How dare you?" she growled as Camilla lunged at her, hands digging into her hair. There was a second of wrestling and scuffling before they topped over, knocking the drunken Ruff off her chair.

"Hey! And ow!"

Hiccup staggered back as the brawling females rolled and clawed at one another-just as Thuggory jumped him, carrying him to the ground. Pinned, he saw Thuggery's elbow catch Ruff across the face and she yelped.

"Get off my sister!" Tuff shouted dramatically and threw himself on Thuggory as the Footballer threw Snotlout off-straight into Fishlegs. The two would-be suitors went down like skittles and tried to scramble off one another while Thuggery tossed Tuff into a neighbouring table, where he stole their pudding. As he turned, he held Hiccup down and cocked his fist to hit him as shouts of 'Get off my pudding!" rang out. Cringing, the auburn-haired man writhed without success under a man twice his width and much heavier-and then, with a shriek, Astrid slammed into Thuggory, punching him twice in the face and kicking him for good measure, managing to knock him off Hiccup. As Thuggory shook his head, she threw herself onto his shoulders and tried to wrestle him to the ground.

"You rat-eating yak-loving munge-bucket son of a fat half-troll!" she yelled at the top of her voice, managing to land a punch on his ear. He staggered. "Leave him alone!" He grabbed at her and managed to throw her off. She staggered and landed on her butt by Hiccup and made to scramble up-but he caught her hand gently and shook his head.

"He's not worth it," he murmured as she scowled.

"But he attacked you and he dumped me and…" she protested but he smiled.

"I think I may have attacked him," he reminded her with a smirk, taking her hand as Thuggory gave a scornful laugh.

"You're welcome to that whiny loser!" he sneered. "I mean…you're a skinny nobody as well so who cares?-while I'm going Professional and…"

"No one tries to hit my brother!" came a wrathful voice and a very buff shape threw himself on Thuggory, his cropped red hair picked out by the candlelight as he flattened the footballer. They crashed into a neighbouring table, spraying oysters over the couple trying to enjoy a quiet romantic meal. Eret punched Tuffnut and Ruff looked up as her brother slammed to the floor by her. Her face twisted into an expression of rage.

"Thorston blood feud!" she roared and grabbed a bottle of champagne, cracking it over Eret's head. The buff man looked at her in shock-and then folded. She glared at him. "Consider yourself dumped!" she announced smugly. Fishlegs looked over at her and then grabbed Heather, who had a bloody nose but was beating up Camilla. He pulled her back and lifted her away, then looked over at the female twin.

"Ruffnut," he said quietly. "I think you know what I have to say." Ruff frowned.

"You're ordering me another pudding?" she asked hopefully, above the sounds of smashing tables, chairs and crockery as Thuggory and Dagur continued fighting. He shook his head.

"Astrid was right-I deserve better," he said and smiled. "What you did was selfish and mean, Ruff-when being honest would have been the decent thing to do. So we're off. You're dumped. I want to go out with someone who actually wants to be my friend, who likes the same things as me and who wants to be with me. And I think I've found her." Ruff opened her mouth…and then shrugged.

"Sorry," she said as Heather stopped struggling and stared at him.

"Felix?" she murmured as the husky young man smiled, releasing her.

"You know-I think a Valentine's meal is overrated," he said cheerfully. "How about Viking Drive-Through? I think 'Gobber's Yak Chops and Ribs' is still open…" Heather grinned and nodded.

"Best offer I've had all evening," she said and grabbed his hand. "Let's get out of here!" Ruff staggered round…to see Snotlout tenderly slapping Tuff's cheek to try to wake him up. The stocky man looked up.

"This is just too weird," he said drunkenly. "Tuff-are you alright, buddy?"

Suddenly, the male twin sat up and hugged Snotlout.

"I'll take that as a yes," Snotlout commented and looked up at Ruff. "I think…you may not be the Nut I'm meant for…"

"And that's even worse," the female twin sighed, sitting down on the only chair still upright. "Dumped for my own brother. Thor, I'll never live this down…"

Thuggory and Dagur crashed through, flattening them all again as a voice boomed through the Hall.

"STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Everyone froze, recognising the commanding voice and thick brogue of Mayor Stoick. The huge man, close to seven feel tall and four hundred pounds of muscle and sinew with an enormous beard of flaming red, loomed out of the chaos, flanked by a dozen Berk Police Officers. The leading officer, Captain Hoark, scowled at them.

"You're all under arrest for causing an affray," he announced as Hiccup and Astrid shared a look-and then burst out laughing. The Mayor glanced at them, seeing them sitting side by side on the floor, hands still clasped.

"Hiccup?' he murmured. " _Son_?" Astrid blinked.

" _That's_ your Dad?" she asked him in shock.

"Oh Gods," Hiccup muttered in an embarrassed voice. "Um…yeah. How many Haddocks do you think there are in Berk?" Astrid smirked.

"Deoends if the fleet has been in recently," she teased him.

"And everyone's a joker," he grumbled. "Um…yes, that's my Dad…and I would be grateful if you didn't tell anyone what I told you about him…" The plea was in his emerald eyes and she nodded, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

"You have my promise," she said honestly. "But you pay for the pizzas." He grinned.

"Fair enough," he conceded as the police began to round them all up-including the drunken and whining Ruffnut, the hugging Heather and Fishlegs, the dazed Tuff and Snotlout and the still-fighting Thuggory and Dagur. "You know, I'm not sure I can guarantee all my dates are going to be this exciting…" She smiled.

"I'll take _any_ dates," she admitted, "but preferably with pizza, Netflix and a decent series to binge-watch…" He winked.

"It's a date," he said.

oOo

February 15th was cold, grey and dreary and Astrid arrived at work hung over, exhausted and lightly bruised from the fight. And somehow, secretly, pleased that someone had stood up for her. She smiled as she walked into the back office and took off her scarf, hat and coat and pulled on her bright green uniform, recalling the moment when Hiccup had punched Thuggory basically for her. It was probably the insanity gas or the moment but it had made her feel wanted once more-and that had made her day. Though admittedly the brawl afterwards and the fact they had all been hauled off to Berk Police Station afterwards had dampened her enthusiasm.

She logged into the cash register and realised that the store was light one pair of Thorston twins so she tidied up, served the first few customers and thought about texting Ruffnut-when Mulch walked up to her, his usual amiable smile lighting the little man's face.

"I hear it was an interesting evening at the Great Hall last night," he said cheerfully and Astrid nodded absently. "And I take it we won't be seeing Ruffnut this morning either?"

"I suspect not," Astrid admitted. "I mean she had far too much to drink, got into a brawl and I think she was dumped by three boyfriends all at once." Mulch chuckled.

"You know, I am sure that everyone in Berk knows that," he assured her with a twinkle in his eye and Astrid face-palmed.

"I would say 'poor Ruff' but I think we both know, deep down, she probably deserves it," she admitted as the little man chuckled.

"You're on a half day today, aren't you?" He checked and she sighed.

"I guess you want me to stay all day to make up for the lack of Thorstons?" she said but the little man shook her head.

"Strangely no-because I have a new employee," he said and stood aside-to reveal the familiar shape of Heather. Astrid gaped and then gave a small squeal of delight.

"Heather! You're working here? But when? How?" she stammered as her friend walked up and hugged her.

"Fish mentioned you worked here so I rang in first thing and Mr Mulch hired me over the phone," she revealed. "And Dagur-though he's out the back unloading the grain shipment…"

"And it's just Mulch," the man told her cheerily. "I'm sure Astrid can show you the ropes…and she'll still be able to get her half day…" The blonde smiled as her friend glanced around the large space.

"So…Mulch's Pet Depot…" Heather began conversationally. "What do they cater for?" Astrid smiled.

"Everything-from fish to yaks with everything furry, slimy or scaly in between…" she explained. "I mean, the twins normally work here as well but I guess they're both nursing sore heads…"

"Ruff certainly will be but I saw Tuff chatting to Snotlout down Lars's Diner earlier," she revealed. "And Fish has asked me out this evening!" Smiling at the news, Astrid gestured to the till and began to explain how things worked until a polite cough sounded.

"Excuse me," a high-pitched voice said in a thick Berkian accent. "Are you Astrid Hofferson?"

Looking up, Astrid saw a bald man with jug ears and a flamboyant dark blonde handlebar moustache. She smiled. "Yes, I am," she said cheerfully, "Can I help you?" He grinned.

"My name is Sven," he said and she stared at him in utter shock.

"S-silent Sven?" she managed and he smiled.

"Not quite," he admitted. "I just never have the heart to interrupt your friend Raquel when she's in full flow…" Astrid's jaw dropped.

"You-you know all about her?" he gabbled as the man gave a smile.

"Mulch is one of my best friends," he told her cheerfully. "And he is very fond of you, Astrid. So when he told me about something that happened yesterday, I felt I had to come." He lifted a cardboard box and placed it gently on the counter. Carefully, he opened it and revealed a small fluffy black kitten with large bright green eyes and big pricked ears.

"Oooh. He's so cute," Astrid said, unable to stop herself.

"He's the last," he said sadly. "His Mom and siblings were killed by my eight sheepdogs but I was able to rescue this little fella. He's got an injured paw but he's a really friendly kitten and he needs a home. I heard you were looking for a kitten?" She lifted the soft, warm little body and stared into he big green eyes. The kitten purred and little paws with tiny claws gently patted at her wrists. And then she smiled.

"I was…because I know the perfect home for him," she said, glancing over to Heather. The raven-haired girl smiled.

"Go get him, girl!" she said.

oOo

She had checked her dark blue dress three times and adjusted her hair in its braid before she adjusted the box and the bag she brought. "Easy, Astrid-it's only a date…after two years of nothing…" she murmured before she walked to the door and knocked smartly on the green door. There was a thud and then a muffled curse before it opened and Hiccup appeared, his hair slightly wild.

"Oh…you're early…" he said, very discomposed. He was in skinny black jeans, green casual shirt and black converse and though there was an obvious bruise on his cheek from the previous night, his eyes were grateful she had even come.

 _As if she wouldn't! He was the best thing that had happened to her for…years! And she had only reconnected with him two days earlier!_

She smiled as he ran his hands through his hair, inviting her into a modern, ordered space and hurriedly trying to shuffle his college work off the dining table and into his sagging bag. "Please, take a seat…" He gestured towards the homely brown leather couch and the flatscreen TV perched above the fireplace. She smiled and leaned forward, pressing a small kiss of his cheek.

"Hiccup," she said gently, calming him instantly, "I wanted to thank you for an amazing date."

"It was a catastrophe,"he admitted with a grimace but she grinned.

"No-it was amazing-because I got to spend it with you," she told him and he started. "The most kind, generous, amazing man who stood up to Eret and Thuggory for me. And I thought I ought to get you something by way of thanks that you can really enjoy…" She paused and handed him the bag. Frowning, he opened the bag-to find a box of 'Bucket's Patented Kitten Food'. His eyes widened.

"To be honest, I was hoping maybe for drinks or garlic bread," he admitted as she sniggered, then handed him the large box. He felt it shift and his eyes widened-and then he opened it to reveal the adorable black kitten, his thick fluffy tail as puffed up as it could be. Hiccup gasped and a smile lit his handsome face, carefully balancing it so he could use his other hand to offer to the cat to smell-and then gently stroke the kitten under his velvety chin. A little purr rumbled through the small body and he gave a tiny mew, revealing gaps in his teeth.

"He was rescued from being killed by Not-Really-Silent Sven's dogs and he had his leg injured and lost half his teeth before he could be snatched away," Astrid explained. "But he's healthy and very friendly…and I know that you will be the best owner he could have…" He looked up at her and blinked, lifting the little purring body against his chest, staring adoringly into the big green eyes.

"Toothless, eh?" he murmured and then he smiled. "Thank you, Astrid. This is…amazing. It's…beyond words…" She came to stand in front of him and saw his eyes shining with happiness.

"You owe me pizza," she reminded him. "And a date. Preferably one completely devoid of Thorstons, multiple boyfriends and expensive meals."

"Will one boyfriend and cheap pizza do?" he asked her hesitantly as she smiled and felt his warm hand close on hers. "Um…if you're not completely off boyfriends forever…" She smiled.

"Only cheating miserable lying double-crossing self-important asses," she told him candidly and he gave an exaggerated sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank Thor!" he said. "Nope-not me. And as long as I don't get a girlfriend who is self-centred, lying and faithless…"

"Nope…I know someone like that but that's not me," she assured him. He smiled.

"Then will you be my girlfriend, Astrid?" he asked her and she gave a small smile, stretching up to kiss him. "Will you go out with me?"

"I would love to," she agreed and stroked the purring Toothless. "But I thought we were staying in?"

"Then will you stay in with me?" he asked her with a smile. She squeezed his hand.

"Babe-I would love to," she smiled. "Happy belated Valentine's Day, Hiccup." He leaned in and kissed her again and Toothless purred against his chest.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Milady."


End file.
